My Sustainability Journey

Sustainability is such a trending word, generally with good intentions behind it. But sustainability is not a static state, instead it is a very fluid journey. When we consider sustainability in our life, and in our world, we would be remiss to assess this transformative lifestyle without considering important factors such as culture, systemic oppression, and privilege.

Sustainability just got much more interesting, didn’t it?


Merriam-Webster defines sustainability as:

sus·​tain·​able | \ sə-ˈstā-nə-bəl  \

1: capable of being sustained 2a: of, relating to, or being a method of harvesting or using a resource so that the resource is not depleted or permanently damaged sustainable techniques sustainable agriculture b: of or relating to a lifestyle involving the use of sustainable methods sustainable society

Sustainability can be applied in all aspects of life. But in everyday media, the buzzword “sustainability” is typically used to refer to a sustainable lifestyle, that is, a lifestyle that works to sustain the environment of the earth and aim to work counter to our typical consumerist culture.

Sustainability of our life-giving earth, however, is not a concept or practice that started with hipsters or minimalist woke culture – it has always existed among indigenous, black, and people of color, who through their traditions, cultures, and spirituality, honored the earth in ways that we fail to replicate today with all of our modern ideas.

The journey of sustainability can not start until we honor its’ roots because, as you will see in my personal journey below, acting before being informed actually causes more damage.

A Fluid Journey

The majority of media, whether videos, blog posts, or photos, depict sustainability as a low to zero waste lifestyle with a minimalist mindset. Each of those concepts can unravel their own intricate argument, because low waste/zero waste lifestyles and minimalism are not always achievable for all people at the same level at all times.

A trending, but important, dialogue that is taking place right now is about the privilege of minimalism. Historically, minimalist aesthetics have coincided with wealth and being secure enough to be able to live with less. While I have yet to fully dive into that conversation and form my own opinions, it is always important to consider whether a movement is marginalizing a group of people.

Low waste is also something that is not accessible to all people, or may mean something different to various groups. In food deserts, there may not be the opportunity to seek food items in bulk or not wrapped in plastic. Financial restraints may make low waste look different to others, and in some lifestyles low waste may already be present, and seem silly to make a trendy goal.

Finally, sustainability is about more than only swapping out glass for plastic and having your own garden, it is about addressing the root systems that prevent our society and environment from being naturally sustainable.

My Personal Sustainability Journey

My personal sustainability journey may not be considered genuine by some. But my journey is reflective of where I am or was in my life at a particular moment and indicates the level of reflection and education that I have or had on the true definition of sustainability.

For the majority of my life, as a kid growing up, my sustainability was rooted in recycling as much as possible and to try not to waste food. Sustainability was not the buzzword it is now 20 years ago, and so I didn’t have much more of an awareness beyond this. Between high school and university, there were new sustainability items on the market, like a surge of reusable bags and reusable water bottles. Once again, I dabbled in both of these, feeling like it mattered (which it did) and that was about it.

Post college, so in the last 8 or so years of my life, I have had 3 substantial phases of my sustainability journey.

1.All or Nothing

Clever marketing mixed with my neurodivergent perfectionist personality meant that when I learned more about sustainability I was convinced that I had to either be 100% sustainable or forget it all together.

(Spoilers sweetie, you cannot be 100% sustainable.)

What this resulted in was a lot of action without research or education. I bought a lot of “eco-friendly items” that I was told “would make a difference.” Reusable straws, tote bags, bath products in recyclable packaging or without packaging, reusable cups, reusable storage bags, and the list goes on.

But, instead of finding myself feeling good about living a more sustainable life, I felt stressed from always having to assess everything that I was doing and I was making purchases beyond my means. Even with good things, if we don’t educate ourselves first, we can hurt ourselves in the long run.

2.Moving Backwards

During this period, which has been about the past 2-3 years of my life, I stopped a lot of the “sustainability efforts” that I was doing. I was burnt out. Trying to incorporate sustainable living into my everyday life was making my stress worse. And I did not have the financial resources to purchase the items that I thought I needed to. Some changes did stick, such as my bathing products and the switch to a menstrual cup and reusable pads, but after marrying my husband I realized I needed to just take a break.

3.Education and Moving Forward

Now, at 30 years old, I am slowly recommitting to my sustainability journey. By taking a break, I could see what things are important to me. I am also spending more time learning about a more holistic definition of sustainability, and diving into bigger questions such as the privilege of minimalism, environmental activism, and what sustainability is meant to look like in my life, and in the life of my family. A family that is built from different cultures, different challenges, and our own unique reality.

My sustainability journey never truly stopped, but it has become informed and intentional – and I have barely scratched the surface.

What had your sustainability journey looked like? What do you hope to learn as you move forward?

Lavender & Patchouli

What kind of hippie are you? Do you live out hippie aesthetics and practices in every breath, or are you an ordinary hippie who embraces aspects of this style and movement, incorporating it in different ways to their everyday life?

I am the latter, a hippie of the ordinary kind. Part of that hippie identity comes with a comfort in the “natural.” Walking through untouched lands, eating simple and pure flavors, and resting comfortably in scents and plants that heal, if not our body, at least our spirit.

My love for lavender and patchouli betray my hidden identity as an ordinary hippie.


I was first introduced to lavender when I was about 11 – I was at a summer sleepaway camp and one of the girls in my cabin gave me a small sachet of dried lavender and told me to put it by my pillow at night to help me sleep. I used that sachet until it no longer had any scent, and from that day forward, lavender has stuck around.

Lavender, or Lavandula, is a genus made up of 47 species of plants that, surprisingly, is a member of the mint family. Depending on the species, lavender plants are used in home or community gardens. In additional to their fragrancy, they also attract environmental heroes helping to attract pollinators. Lavender is also used for many purposes such as fragrance (dried or from their oil), herbal medicine, and can even be used in cooking; there are a multitude of recipes for lavender infused lattes, cookies, and spirits.

These plants are native to the countries bordering the Mediterranean, but there are several types, such as the commonly known English Lavender and French Lavender that can easily be planted and thrive in our climates.


I would argue that the one scent that religiously comes to mind when we think of “hippie” is patchouli. Interestingly, patchouli, like lavender, is a perennial and a member of the mint family, native to the lands of Southeast Asia. Indonesia currently produces 90% of the world’s supply of Patchouli.

Patchouli is utilized primarily for its’ oil, which is mainly used in perfumes and to scent a variety products such as lotions as well as some less common uses in herbal medicine.

While researching the patchouli plant, I was amused to find an article titled “Why do hippies smell like patchouli?” But a quick read proves that there is a strong rationale for the correlation of hippies and patchouli.

Patchouli oil has been in use for thousands of years, but it gained tremendous popularity because of its use by the hippies in the 1960s. Experts suggest that regular use of patchouli oil by hippies is because of the raw, earthy and natural nature of this oil. Hippies preferred using products that were not artificially manufactured and were cruelty free. Those are characteristics of patchouli oil. . . . Some experts suggest that strong-smelling patchouli oil was used by hippies to mask the smell of marijuana that they have used. It was also effective in masking the smell of alcohol. The hippie culture emphasized unbounded love and inclusiveness. Patchouli oil is known for its calming and libido-enhancing effect, which made it popular among the hippies.

Why Do Hippies Smell Like Patchouli?

Essential Oils

Both lavender and patchouli are widely used in their oil forms, from aromatherapy, adding fragrancy, and herbal medicines. I have found that applying lotion with lavender oils on my joints does provide some relief to my autoimmune diseased body, however, this is my own experience, and my use of those essential oils is in conjunction with medication and other treatments. Currently, for both lavender and patchouli, there is lacking scientific evidence that they provide any specific health benefits. (My disclaimer: if essential oils impact your life and health positively, then go ahead and use them, I am not here to argue for or against their use or make any claims.)

The Cultural Impact

As much as I encourage education and conversation about different cultures around the world, so that together we can respect and celebrate the richness of our shared humanity, I am constantly reminded of how little I know.

Lavender and patchouli have histories of cultivations, and traditions far from the United States that are rooted in centuries of sacred practice. We are in an era where it is very trendy to see essential oils or to plant these perennials to enhance our own gardens, we don’t stop to think where they came from, or the richness of their history.

This awareness does not prohibit us from embracing their use, but ethical living calls us to educate ourselves and to honor the legacies of hands that have cared for and cultivated these plants that are so easily present in our lives. These are just small pieces of the sacred in our everyday lives.

What aspects of your life make you an ordinary hippie?

Supporting Small Businesses: Pastures & Pine

Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored post; I am not affiliated with Pastures & Pines in any way. I purchased these items myself and my opinions and review are my own.

I have often heard the saying “there is no ethical consumption under capitalism,” and it is something that I think about frequently. If true, it puts a dark cloud over any purchase that we make, and it quite disheartening. But, even if we have not solidified the answer of how to make the most perfect ethical purchase, we can make conscious choices that bring us a little closer to a genuine definition of ethical consumption.

One way that I like to work towards this is to support small businesses. My purpose in supporting small businesses is threefold:

  1. Small businesses are more likely to have ethically sourced/ produced items (though it is still always good to do your research.)
  2. With small businesses there is transparency behind who is doing the work. Often you are interacting directly with the founder, artisan, farmer, etc. and you get to build a personal relationship – it’s a fun celebration of humanity!
  3. Small businesses often have unique items, or better quality items, than what you would find in mass produced commercial businesses.

Although I am not always able to purchase from small businesses as often as I would like (budget, privilege, and need can impact all of our purchases), I try, from time to time, to discover new small businesses and find a way to support them.

Introducing Pastures & Pine

Tik Tok and Instagram are great places to discover new small businesses. And, now, more than ever, we have access to support businesses and individuals across the United States and even throughout the Globe!

I love artisan hand poured soaps, so when I came across an Instagram post promoting Pastures & Pine’s homemade soap, I knew that I had to check them out further.

Based in Montana, Ashleigh runs a small dairy farm with Nigerian Dwarf Goats, and also produces beautiful, sustainable, and natural bath products such as soap, solid lotion bars, and whipped body butters.

An excerpt from her website really sums up the wholesomeness and passion of their farm and business:

What began as an interest in learning the old ways of self sufficiency grew into a passion for making things bloom and grow- for colorful chicken eggs and the happy, free ranging chickens who lay them- for beautiful and friendly dairy goats, and the symbiotic relationship between animal and farmer.

What Did I Try?

Pastures & Pine Brown Square Box

First, I want to applaud the packaging of Pastures & Pine. All of my items came carefully nestled in the cardboard box pictured above. There was no extra space, just enough to fit everything. Each item was packaged in either a recyclable brown paper bag or reusable tin/cloth bag. I appreciated the minimalism for the sustainability that it ensured, yet it was still an exciting unboxing experience!

Whipped Bee Butter: Scent Hippie Stank ($8 for 2 oz)

The first item that I selected was one of their whipped body butters made with beeswax. I chose this scent based on name alone, “Hippie Stank,” and it does not disappoint. A hippie perfect mix of lavender and patchouli; lavender is the dominant scent and is one of my favorite blends. Because of the beeswax, the butter is a little more oily when applied. I prefer to use this at night before bed, so that it can soak into my skin while I sleep

I took this photo right after receiving my package, and temperatures in my hometown have been in the 80s. Once in the house and given a chance to settle, the body butter hardened into a soft semi solid balm. If you travel, just be mindful of heat when bringing this item along.

On the Fly Bee Butter Solid Lotion Bar ($6)

I have been wanting to try a solid lotion bar for awhile now, and this was the perfect excuse. Solid lotion bars are like a bar of soap, but when you rub it ono your body your natural body heat gently melts it so it can be spread and massaged into the skin.

Pastures & Pine offers this as either a first time purchase in a tin, or as a refill. It applies very well and has a soft scent, with the main ingredient being beeswax. The scent of pure beeswax takes a little time to adjust to, but that is more of a personal preference. I am very happy with this item and it is great for travel or to keep in your purse since you don’t have to worry about a liquid.

Jar of Hearts Goat Milk Soap ($8)

As I mentioned previously, I love hand poured artisan soap, so I had to be sure to grab one up. Unfortunately, several scents were out of stock, but I am anxiously awaiting them to come back so I can try out some more scents.

This adorable jar of hearts feels like it is their signature soap, it has a clean scent and just smells creaming and nourishing, before you even use it. As expected, it is super creamy and produces a great lather. This would work perfect as a hand soap or in the shower as well.

Be sure to Support Pastures & Pine!

I am absolutely delighted with all of my products. From packaging, to price, to product quality, to the overall mission of their farm and business, I feel good supporting their work and feel better about the products that I am using on my skin.

They also included a sample of their sweet grass bar soap, which is light and fresh. I look forward to trying this scent out as well.

Be sure to check them out and give them a follow! I have included their links below, and be sure to share if you try anything!

Pastures & Pine Website



Axolotl: A Dangerously Cute Trend

Axolotls are the new trendy animal. In the early 2000s, owls could be found on every shirt and accessory, llamas followed suit and are still going strong. And now, we have axolotls.

But with trendiness comes ethical issues.

What is an Axolotl

The Axolotl is an unique creature rooted in mythology and culture. Originally named for an Aztec God, the Axolotl is a type of salamander (not a fish!) that is exclusively found in Lake Xochimilco, near Mexico City. Deeply rooted in the history, culture, and tradition of Mexico, they are typically a greenish brown color (to better hide from predators), with the trendy pink ones being bred for their appeal as personal pets.

The unique characteristic of Axolotls is that they are “neotenic,” maintaining juvenile characteristics well into adulthood. This trait is not typical for other species of salamander.

Surprisingly, very little is know of this specie; most information has been obtained via laboratories and they maintain much of the mystery they held when first considered to be an ancient God. Biologically, they are very young, having existed for only about 10,000 years.

Is it ethical to have an Axolotl as a pet

Axolotls are very popular pets; it is difficult to resist their cute faces. But, in the context of their history, and the fact that they are critically endangered, it raises an important question that, although legal, is it ethical to have them as pets?

In researching the ethics of owning an Axolotl, I found that there are two principal categories of ethics to consider:

The first is whether it is okay to have them as pets. This seems to be a frequently raised question within the aquatic community. Axolotls are critically endangered, so does pet ownership help or harm an already delicate existence? The answer is neither. The Axolotls bred for the aquarium trade are not the same breed that is found naturally in Lake Xochimilco. Their extinction is, as mentioned above, caused by pollution, predators, and consumption. Having them as pets may have positive impacts such as helping to raise awareness of the Axolotl and the threats they are facing, and promoting Mexican culture. There is a deeper question about whether the exotic pet trade and captive breeding is ethical, but that is a topic to be explored at another time.

The second is that you are making a personal ethical decision on whether or not to have them as pets. As the Department of Education of Australia shares, Axolotls are high maintenance. Their habitat requires very specific space requirements, they are hostile to most other fish and species, and they require frequent cleaning of their habitat. This high level of care warrants sufficient research, and a high level of commitment when deciding to add these creatures to your home. If you cannot maintain the requirements needed for the Axolotl to thrive, then it would not be ethical for you to have them as a pet, and it would be better ways to show your appreciation for them.

Do trends help or harm animals

I don’t have a well researched answer to this yet, but from my own observation I would conclude that it depends. Trends bring something to popularity quickly, and that spotlight can be a positive opportunity to educate and advocate – the trendiness of Axolotls right now is a great opportunity to raise awareness and can potentially help to shape the narrative to prevent their extinction.

At the same time, trends are just that, trendy, short lived, hyper fixations that soon get replaced by something new. The short term fascination with a trendy animal often results in rapidly lost interest (advocacy may slow down), or animal abuse resulting from discarding unwanted pets or inappropriate care from insufficient research.

I will not be getting an Axolotl as a pet, but will advocate for them in other ways. There is a lot more to learn regarding ethical pet ownership of this unique creature, and the best ways to help restore their population. I will continue to admire their cuteness, and take the time to educate myself further; all of the points discussed in this post possess deeper levels to explore and understand.

Trendy or not, this is the most ethical decision that I can make at this time.

Mamas for the Win

Let me begin by wishing a Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mamas out there! You are beautiful, you are fierce, you are loved. However you became a mother, or whatever the reason you identify as a mother, is valid, and today is your day to shine – I hope to one day soon join your ranks.

I also thought that Mother’s Day would be a great day to kick off our “A Female Revolution” series – diverse posts dedicated to incredible women, from past and present, forming a platform to amplify the voices of all women and to share our narratives – for too often are we silenced.

I was inspired today, to highlight two moms who, quite frankly, bring joy to my day. If you are on Tik Tok, you may already know who I am talking about, but I want to put the spotlight on Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom.

During the start of the COVID Pandemic, when we were full swing into quarantine, I downloaded Tik Tok and, although it hasn’t been my calling for content creation, it has been a great comfort to me. It is entertaining, sometimes educational, definitely odd, and a new tool in social activism (Tik Tok was the full coverage for the height of the BLM movement this past year).

Gwenna and Tori (both who I would love to meet in person), are two moms who share a really beautiful and important message about authenticity and inclusivity within motherhood. Their content, which extends far beyond Tik Tok provides a smart, and much needed blend of humor, fun, and real life. Gwenna and Tori provide equal parts seratonin and heart and have been a much needed source of joy during this past year and counting of non-stop trauma.

Gwenna established her Momma Cusses platform in 2020 to “normalize modern motherhood and give moms a place to connect and feel less alone.” Motherhood is not an easy job and there can still be a lot of stigma surrounding common parenting challenges, especially experiences unique to mothers. How can we push our world forward if we do not have the support of our communities? We need support in our challenges and in our celebrations.

Tori’s Tik Toks are just as viral and her heart is just as big. I recently started listening to her Podcast and her (and her husband) are some of my new favorites for parenting advice. She talks honestly but with such overflowing love, you know that you have her support even if you have never met. And truthfully, that is the the kind of energy that we need more of in the world. Her passion is to promote important dialogues about mental health and parenting.

The celebration of mothers and motherhood doesn’t stop after one day – with the same energy that we celebrate today, we need to put into each day to support one another, especially in the scary or challenging moments. We can share our recipes to make dinner time more fun, we can laugh at the moments that question our sanity, and we will pause to acknowledge when mentally, physically, or emotionally we see a mother who cannot do it alone.

Silence Does Not Mean it Doesn’t Exist

It is ironic, that so many of us can be deeply religious and follow a practice that relies on deep faith; believing in so many unknowns when we cannot visibly see or tangibly encounter, yet we refuse to display that same level of faith in people when they tell us bad things are happening.

I make this statement as someone who cares deeply about her faith – I am not attacking myself or others, but instead I want us to ask ourselves if we are putting faith in other people as well? Or are we deciding for ourselves when the narratives of others matter?

When the Black Lives Matter Protests swept the nation in 2020, after the killing of George Floyd, I wasn’t aware that Black Lives Matter was not a brand slogan, but instead it was an ideology that was established long before. For those of us who are privileged enough to be ignorant about the true extent of racism within our nation (and within the world), it was easy to forget that racially motivated crimes did not suddenly stop, just because we didn’t hear about them for awhile. I would pose that when we stop hearing about it, that is when racism is at its worst, because crimes and hatred continue to take place, but voices are successfully being silenced.

I will not claim expertise on racism, only that I wake up every day knowing that I need to allow my perspectives to be challenged.

Learning about the rampant hate crimes against members of the Asian Community have been a huge waking up for me.

If I were to stop and think about the question: “is there racism against Asians?” I would remember that the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882 was the first piece of legislation (note: first piece of legislation, not the first action) aimed at keeping one group of people out of the United States simply because of their race. I would remember horribly insulting names and cariactures often used in Hollywood and other tropes used to depict Asians. I would think about the stereotypes that persist about Asians, and the one time that my friend in college, who was Filipino – Korean, was called “Exotic” by someone in her class.

My answer would easily be yes, but then I would feel doubtful because I feel that I don’t hear about Asian hate crimes.

You know how parents always say that if a child is playing and they are suddenly super quiet, you know that they are in trouble? We need to start paying attention to the silence and checking in on any communities who we don’t hear from – starting with the Asian community.

Hate crimes and brutal attacks against Asian Americans are on the rise, according to CNN and Asian Americans Advancing Justice (AAJC). Events have escalated more due to the COVID-19 Virus, but why was this not being talked about before COVID-19? There are countless recent news articles about these horrible attacks, from lethal beatings of elderly Asian Americans to the recent shooting we know all too well. There are now initiatives to be a walking companion for the elderly members of the Asian American community – because they are so terrified to leave their homes.

I would pose that when we stop hearing about it, that is when racism is at its worst, because crimes and hatred continue to take place, but voices are successfully being silenced.

AAJC created a campaign, Stand Against Hatred, to help break that silence and to help document the crimes that are happening on a daily basis. I have re-printed a few of those stories below; you can visit their website to read and learn more. I encourage you to sit with these stories and ask yourself, “did I know this was happening?”

My 11-year-old daughter came home crying from school repeatedly because children in her class said they hoped COVID would go back to China and kill all the Chinese people. They also said Chinese people are dirty, lying cheaters who can’t be trusted. I reported it to the school administration and never even got a response to my email asking for support. We have never felt more invisible.

Shopping at local grocery market, was in the aisle next to beers. White man talking loudly on phone comes to the middle of the aisle near where I’m standing and starts asking his buddy on the phone what kind of beer to get. I ask him to keep his distance given that he didn’t have a mask. He turns to me, and says on his phone, “Hold on, I’ve got this oriental MFer bitching to me.” I quickly leave the aisle, but the man follows me, yelling things like, “Hey Ching Chang Chong, go back to your f***ing restaurant and make me some chicken fried rice.”

I was taking the subway home from the airport when a White man (not wearing a mask) started verbally harassing me. He started singing about America and continually said things like, “Get out of my country and go back to where you came from,” and “Thanks for killing us all.” When I didn’t respond, he said “We speak AMERICAN here, you know that?” and made fun of my name that was on my suitcase saying, “What kind of a name is that!” He also banged on the windows and stomped his feet to make as much noise as possible. The subway had an emergency button to talk to the operator, but unfortunately he was sitting in front of it. I felt uncomfortable speaking out or taking action because I was sitting in the corner and was afraid he would try to prevent me from leaving. I think the worst part was when I tried to look around for help, I saw everyone else in the car with headphones in, heads down, completely ignoring the situation. I was able to leave the car safely, but it has made me concerned about the safety of fellow AAPIs and I feel like we can’t hope that others will intervene on our behalf.

According to Manjusha Kulkarni, the Executive Director of the Asian Pacific Policy and Planning Council, and Robin Toma, the Executive Director of the Los Angeles Human Relations Commission, a middle school boy from the San Fernando Valley has been bullied, physically attacked, and sent to the emergency room because his assailants believed he had the coronavirus. Unfortunately, the young child has been one of many victims of hate crimes as the recent coronavirus scare, combined with people’s pre-existing prejudices, has led to a rise in hostility against Asians and Asian Americans.

Now we can say that we have heard the stories (if we hadn’t before) and that we honor the narrative – but what now? Education and understanding are important elements, and one of the first steps that can be taken, but it is not enough. How will we now become allies and how will we listen to the voices that are being silenced, so that we can learn what role we should play?

Grounded & Wild

Have you ever had so many ideas running through your mind that you don’t know where to start?

I have started and restarted this post so many times, because it immediately generates a cascade of similar passions and new inspirations. But, when my mind is running wild, the best course of action is to ground myself.

Grounding is a practice that I am still working on implementing into my daily life, but it is within this concept that I find comfort, healing and strength. provides a clear, textbook definition of grounding:

Grounding, also called earthing, is a therapeutic technique that involves doing activities that “ground” or electrically reconnect you to the earth. This practice relies on earthing science and grounding physics to explain how electrical charges from the earth can have positive effects on your body

This definition expresses it well, but it doesn’t quite exude the magic of grounding. I find grounding to be a valuable spiritual practice, that blends well into any religious or non-religious background. For myself, as a Catholic, grounding connects me with nature, to my roots, which heals my soul from the creation that was breathed on by God. Grounding also has many benefits to mental health and stress.

While grounding can be as simple as standing barefoot in the grass, my favorite way to ground myself is through hiking. While hiking I feel that I can stay in the woods or forest forever, time passes in a different way, and all that you can focus on is the present.

My introduction to hiking was presented in a surprising and unexpected way – I did not find hiking, but hiking was brought to me. My entire life I grew up being a “non-camper.” I never felt like a “outdoorsy” enough person, and while my family did spend time outdoors, it was with industrialized activities. There are different ways of being outdoors, all are beautiful and fun, but I never saw myself as camping overnight or carrying all my supplies on my back. Mosquitoes alone seemed to always have it out for me.

Sometimes though, you don’t learn about a part of yourself until you actually try it.

So what brought hiking into my life? Well, it is who: Cheryl Strayed

If you know this remarkable woman, your immediate thought may be that this would be the last person to convince anyone to hike. In her book, Wild, I was captivated by so many elements of her story, and I would agree that her hiking experience would be enough to scare anyone away with all of the horrors of what could go wrong. But her experience impacted me in another way – as her hiking of the Pacific Crest Trail was a form of grieving through her trauma, I was drawn to the healing that hiking might provide, the grounding that took place by merely taking one step at a time, the meditation of moving forward and setting aside the “real world” for even a moment. So I saw her errors as a great guide of what not to do, which is just as valuable a way to learn, and I was instantly compelled to unlock a new segment of my being.

My hiking journey has been slow, but thankfully I have a close friend who regularly hikes and backpacks, so she is a wonderful companion and mentor.

I will continue hiking and grounding myself for my faith, for my spirit, and for my mental health – rooting myself in the dust of the earth from which I was formed and where my ancestors lay – and rising up like a tree, made whole by the earth that sustains me.

Why Do People Keep Talking About Spoons?

What does the average person feel like on a daily basis?

I recently realized that I will never know the answer to that question.

My husband is my rock, but he is also my exact opposite in that he knows the answer to the above question – he can fall asleep within a few minutes, he can use as much energy as he wants for an activity, and recovers by the next day (example: he wants to deep clean the entire house in one day? done, and he is ready to go the next day), he can go to sleep at any hour and still wake up in time for work, no matter how little sleep (don’t get me wrong, 3 hours of sleep will still leave him tired, but he isn’t hitting the snooze button either).

I live with chronic illness – specifically, two autoimmune diseases known as Hashimoto’s Disease and Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disorder – and in my 30 years I have never known what it feels like to function like my husband, to function like someone with no health issues.

Some of you reading this may be fellow spoonies or may have loved ones living with chronic illness, so I want to share a small piece of my journey so we can continue to grow in community.

If you are reading this and don’t know much about chronic illness, my intention is to share my experiences and continue to help raise awareness about the realities many of us live with.

Regardless of where you are on the “Spoonie” journey, I am going to break down a few key elements to get us started:

Autoimmune Disease:

Every chronic illness is not an autoimmune disease, however, I do use the words interchangeably and the chronic illness/autoimmune community is made up of both parties. A chronic illness is, in simplest terms, exactly what its name suggests – a disease or illness that lasts for an extended period of time, typically for life. Chronic illness, as with any health issue, can come in many forms and in many varying degrees of severity. One key point to remember is that one person’s experience with chronic illness is never going to look exactly the same as someone else’s.

Autoimmune diseases are specifically the 100+  diseases that are caused by a blip in our autoimmune systems. Basically, something in our body perceives another part of our body as a threat, so your body responds like it would for any threat, and starts to attack it. Those of us wth autoimmune disease are bad asses for literally living every day with a body that keeps attacking itself.


Many of us in the autoimmune and chronic illness community talk about spoons alot. This stems from the spoon theory, which is a way to explain, and help manage our limited energy. With many autoimmune diseases, our bodies produce energy differently and in very finite terms.

The premise with the spoon theory is that we have X number of spoons a day. Each activity that we do uses spoons, and the more strenuous the activity, the more spoons we use. If we run out of spoons, we can “borrow” from the next day, but then we will be even lower the next day. Our energy is very explicitly finite, and we daily have to make choices about what activities to do, and often having to choose not to do things.

My diagnoses:

I received my first diagnosis in high school, I was a sophmore and after missing a month of school in the aggregate, we knew something was wrong. I was missing school because I would have many days where I felt so physically exhausted that I could not get out of bed, and I would end up sleeping all day, until dinner.

Blood tests and an evaluation of my symptoms with my doctor would show that I have Hashimoto’s Disease, which is a Thyroid Condition.

It was not until I was 24/25 that I received my second diagnosis. A fun yet unfortunate tidbit is that having one autoimmune disease can make you predisposed to have others. After my Hashimotos disease was well under control with medication ( I had several years where I didn’t even feel that I had a disease), I started to experience more intense symptoms: worse fatigue, rashes, join pain, join swelling, etc. I was referred to a specialist where I was diagnosed with Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease. (Where are my UCTD pals at?)

With this particular disease, I have markers for several other autoimmune diseases, but I have not fully developed into any one of them: Rheumatoid arhthrisits, Firbomayla, Lupus. What my body is attacking are my connective tissues, such as my joints, but there is always the potential that things could get worse. I take medication to help with flares and to protect my organs, in case my body gets worse.

Mental Health:

Mental Health issues and chronic illness go hand in hand. It is literally the constant struggle with the “chicken or the egg” question. Having mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression, can cause chronic illness to flare in your body – but having chronic illness can also cause mental health issues to start. It really is a no win situation.

This was a very quick introduction to autoimmune diseases, and my own personal experiences. My hope is that it can be a starting point for community, education, and awareness.

Just a Girl in Love With Mushrooms

I am just a girl in love with mushrooms. Well, love may be a strong word, but anything “earthy” brings joy to my soul; mushrooms are my recent fascination. Strangely enough, my interest was sparked by the depiction of animated mushrooms in an anime called “Little Witch Academia.” If you are not familiar with the series, it is a whimsical story of a young girl who goes to a witch academy to live out her dream of being just like her role model, the infamous Chariot. One of her friends, Sucy is a fellow witch who is the resident emo/goth character, which immediately makes her my favorite. From the first episode, Sucy has a unique obsession with mushrooms and, my enjoyment of her character led me to see mushrooms as something a little more special then I had previously considered.

My knowledge of Mushrooms is suprisingly little: I am familiar with the few types of mushrooms that I regularly eat, I know that mushrooms are fungi, there are poisonous mushrooms, and they are the poster child of 1970s hallucogenics.

Needless to say, some research is in order.

Mushrooms 101: What Makes Mushrooms So Special?

It is a natural inclination to want to use the term “plant” when talking about mushrooms. But mushrooms, if you recall, are their own kingdom, separate from plants and animals. Mushrooms possess their own personalities and traits, and are quite remarkable creations.

Mushrooms are nutrient-dense, impressive self-cultivators, and are the anti-heroes of living things.

The benefits and behaviors of mushrooms are overwhelming. Let’s start with how they behave. Mushrooms grow at an incredible rate – some types of mushrooms grow 0.2 inches per minute, while others take several days. Mushrooms grow by metabolizing non-living organic matter. This “consumption” causes mushrooms to be incredibly sustainable for the environment; they help to lower the carbon footprint generated by other forms of production, and may also be the tool to help purify the earth. Mushrooms have been used in a process called mycoremediation to remove toxic waste after events such as wildfires. While their full potential has yet to be understood, mushrooms are an important part of ensuring the longevity of the earth.

There are a long list of the many different types of mushrooms. It is difficult to obtain an exact count between “wild” and “edible” mushrooms, because both terms, when referring to mushrooms, are misnomers. There are many mushrooms that we eat regularly that are found “wild,” that is, not farmed. There are also many variants of mushrooms that are not part of our agricultural process, but that you would easily find by foraging and that are completely edible. That being said, it is not recommended to eat the next mushroom that you see sticking out of a tree stump, unless you know that it won’t kill you.

So how are mushrooms the anti-hero? Fascinatingly enough, despite their nourishing and positive impact on our ecosystem, mushrooms also have the potential to be ecologically toxic.

BBC News highlights that mushrooms are fungi that can breed a wealth of benefit to our ecosytem – they are essential to the survival of the earth and are an inspiring hope for the future of sustainability. But aside from the obvious downside of certain toxic and lethal breeds, “they have a darker side: devastating trees, crops and other plants across the world, and wiping out animals such as amphibians.”

Some types of mushrooms are responsible for diseases in plants and in humans. However, it is important to understand that the Fungi Kingdom is immense, and not all types are damaging. In a future post I will be exploring the different types of mushrooms/fungi that are found and the impact they have.

What surprised you the most about mushrooms?

We’re Saving the World Wrong

Our relationship to the environment is a reflection of our relationship to society

Loren Cardeli

On my commute to work I have started listening to podcasts to pass the time and to add some spice into my daily routine. My most recent listen was an episode from the Green Dreamer Podcast (my new favorite) titled “Loren Cardeli: Dismantling injustices in the food system and building farmer autonomy.”

While I thought that I would be listening to a podcast about eco-activism, I quickly realized that I would have my entire belief system challenged.

When we think about eco-activism and food production, what most immediately comes to mind?

The conversation surrounding environmental activism and combatting food waste usually tosses around issues such as food production, the use of pesticides, and farmer education to help grow successful crops in an ever changing climate. ,

Although all of those points are legitimate, they fail to acknowledge the biggest issue in our global system of food production – the injustice and oppression of those who produce our global food supply. Environmental justice needs to be less about the plants, and more about the people who grow them.

An Unpopular Opinion

Loren Cardeli, sites his own experiences in challenging how we are actually approaching the topic of environmental justice.

During his time in Belize, Loren was first exposed to an indigenous and native approach to farming, but also witnessed the destructive and dehumanizing effects of industrial agriculture. Through a deeply rooted and worldwide history of colonialism, there exists a system of agriculture that is designed to benefit those who are wealthy or are privileged.

Data shows that hunger is often not the result of a lack of food, but instead a capitalist hoarding of food that forces communities to starve to death, while growing ample food to feed others around the world; ample food that we often throw away because we are unable to consume it all.

What Is Environmental Justice?

The United States Environmental Protection Agency states that “Environmental justice is the fair treatment and meaningful involvement of all people regardless of race, color, national origin, or income, with respect to the development, implementation, and enforcement of environmental laws, regulations, and policies.” and that “This goal will be achieved when everyone enjoys: 1) The same degree of protection from environmental and health hazards, and 2) Equal access to the decision-making process to have a healthy environment in which to live, learn, and work.

In Pope Francis’ encyclical Laudato Si’ he articulates that “Today, however, we have to realize that a true ecological approach always becomes a social approach; it must integrate questions of justice in debates on the environment, so as to hear both the cry of the earth and the cry of the poor.”

Grassroots non-profits such as the Interreligious Task Force “envisions a world where local communities (particularly indigenous and Afro-descendant) are able to assert their right to communal lands and self-determination, especially when outsiders try to impose infrastructure or development projects. Communities are able to define the kind of development they want: economically and environmentally sustainable while maintaining cultural integrity. Their autonomy is respected by governments and corporations. The modern economic view of natural resources as something to be exploited for the sake of development or profit has been replaced with an ethic of people over profit.”

Environmental Justice is more than protecting the integrity and sustainability of plants and animals – it is demanding the inherent dignity and rights of people who are being discarded.

Where Do We Go From Here?

I first want to acknowledge that, depending on your experience, you may be feeling a variety of things right now. You might feel angered. You may be feeling uncomfortable.

Whatever your response at this moment, sit with it, and acknowledge why you feel this way.

As you move forward, here are 3 action steps that you can take today:

  • Listen to the full podcast episode and learn more about Loren’s nonprofit. Education is an important and valid first step.

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  • Donate to A Growing Culture to help support this mission
  • Share this post: on Facebook, Instagram, in a text to friends. Keep the conversation going and help raise awareness

Have ideas for future content? Let us know in the comments or send us a note.

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